Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Reviews

I had entered my novel, From my Mother, into the 2013 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award and made it into the second round in which 2,000 out of a total 10,000 entries over five fiction categories were chosen based on the pitch for the manuscript. Mine was entered into General Fiction.

While my manuscript did not advance to the next round, the quarter finals for which 500 out of those 2,000 were selected based on an excerpt consisting of the first 5,000 words, I did receive the Amazon reviewers' feedback.

Here's what they (names are not disclosed) said:   

ABNA Expert Reviewer 1

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
You somehow made me care about running which is something I have NO interest in. I liked the way you worked in bits and pieces from the past both the past of the grandmother and for Nadia.

What aspect needs the most work?
I wasn’t really taken with the pitch. If that’s all I’d had to read I’m not sure if it would prompt me to read the excerpt or book. It was by no means terrible just a bit lackluster. The thing that caught my attention the most is the mention of WWII Europe. This will sound to minute but your use of the word ‘lore’ piqued my interest especially in referring to this family. It made me want to settle in for a good story.

I was a little confused about where Nadia lived. At first I assumed because of where she was racing that she lived in Canada but later it seemed she lived in Australia.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
As I said the story was doled out nicely. I loved being inside Nadia’s head while she worked on her here and now race and her family’s legacy and how that impacts her and better yet what the mystery is and what that will mean. You build great word pictures of both these women. Oma hiding from the Nazi’s is suspenseful and scary. I just knew nothing good would come from that. I loved her stubbornness and how it’s reflected in her granddaughter. The illustrative story of Christmas in the church and the contest of wills for winning the prized pew seat told volumes about Oma’s character and world outlook. She was not going to be taken advantage of again!

All the while I read many questions came to me. Did the Nazi kill or take the child, rape grandma and the child she had was Nadia’s true mother? Was this why she seemed estranged from her daughter and her son in law? Why is Nadia so obsessed with running? What is she trying to get away from or to?

I know you’re writing general fiction but you’ve built a wonderful level of suspense into this excerpt!

The use of WWII seems very timely since so much is being written about it today. Personally I can’t get enough of fiction and nonfiction about that era and hope the personal stories and the re-analysis continue your book included.

ABNA Expert Reviewer 2

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
What a very haunting, and engaging beginning to this excerpt. We learn a lot about Nadia’s character by the way she approaches her running. The scene of the race is so well-written that I feel as though I am right there with Nadia. Oma is a feisty and endearing character; the scene of her pushing the other woman out of her seat in church is hilarious. Oma’s history is fascinating, and her relationship with Nadia is appealing and sweet. The rich history of the family, and the hint that there are many parts of the family story that Nadia does not yet know, generate strong engagement in the story.

What aspect needs the most work?
While the portions about running are interesting, they may be a bit lengthy and technical so early in the excerpt, and risk some readers, particularly those who may not be interested in running, becoming disengaged.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
This excerpt captivated me from the start with compelling, well-developed characters and a rich tapestry of family history. The focus on the more technical aspects of running may have been a little overdone for so early in the story, and could risk losing the interest of readers who are not interested in the sport; more early focus on the relationship between Nadia and Oma may help to prevent this from becoming a risk. Overall, however, this was very compelling, and something I would like to read more of.

Returning to run training after injury

After a four-month complete layoff from running -- which followed more than three months of drastically reduced run training -- I am now slowly easing back into running.

I began by power-walking five weeks ago; if my body, or more specifically my right heel, could not deal with that, it certainly would not be ready to run either.

My injury has been a persistent and mysterious one that has not responded to various types of treatment (ART, IMS, massage) and did not show up on an MRI either. The roller coaster of hope and disappointment has made me extremely cautious; yet the only way to find out if I can run again is by running.

If the injury, resulting in pain in my right heel has not healed by now, after eight months, I need to know. In the past five months, I have taken charge of my own body again by revamping my diet, adding Bikram yoga, as well as bike and swim training. And of course a complete break from running.

By December I was able to walk again without pain. Easy daily walks with the dog, initially flat for about 30 minutes, later moving to the undulating local trails for up to an hour. By then I could also do some simple strengthening exercises like calf raises.

By the third week of January I introduced power walks to my routine, beginning with 45 minutes and increasing them to an hour. I felt comfortable enough to try the steep hike up, and down, the Chief by February 1. As the pain stayed away, I began a very easy walk-run routine on February 3.

It consists of a 20-minute workout with four stretches of running, interspersed with walking. It begins with four and a half minutes of walking, followed by 30 seconds of running, repeated another three times. I don't know anything about the source, but I liked the low-key approach and am using it to build up to running five minutes.

When I can do that, I plan to follow this seven-week returning-from-injury program by running coach Pete Pfitzinger; I am a big fan of his approach to training though his book Advanced Marathoning.

A couple of setbacks have slowed progress but I am ready to run 3-minute stretches tomorrow. So far so good, though the proof will be in the pudding; will the pain stay away?

Yesterday I did my second workout with 2 1/2-minute stretches of running -- it is amazing how long such a short run feels right now, after I thought nothing of going for a mid-week 24K run not that long ago. But I am certainly not complaining -- any running is bliss, and I am loving each second.

As the teachers at Bikram yoga remind me each practice, "You are exactly where you need to be."  

Running into roadblocks

Everything happens for a reason. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be. What goes around, comes around.

These often-heard lines portray the human desire to make sense of life, to see purpose and meaning behind what might also be seen as a series of random events that happen to each one of us, to create a moral compass for our conduct especially in the way we treat others, and to instill an awareness that our actions have consequences.

Image by Sorca

Yesterday morning was a nice one as Luka and I set off on our walk. I opted to head to the start of our street, passing the site where the new neighbourhood of Crumpit Woods is being built, and then veer left onto a trail that splits and offers several options.

A favourite, Summer's Eve, is closed because of the construction which at this stage includes regular blasting of the underlying rock.

Instead, we headed over to The Graduate, a relatively new trail that slowly winds its way toward the Three Virgins, before connecting to the part of Seven Stitches that remains open for now. It was quiet and we had the trails to ourselves.

Enjoying the immersion into lush rainforest, I was also lost in thoughts, pondering the application to a writing program, while Luka was entertained by the ball I had brought for him. 

WHAM!

Both my knees hit hard rock embedded in the trail. The pain was instant and severe, one knee of the Levi's jeans I have owned for less than three months ripped on impact. Sitting dazed on all fours, I couldn't help myself and started wailing, out of agony but especially frustration.

What the hell?!

I was still recovering from the flu -- my first in a long, long time -- that had knocked me flat for the past five days; no Computrainer on Thursday, no swim on Friday morning or no Bikram on Friday evening, no long ride on Saturday morning or yoga on Saturday afternoon, no power walk with short stretches of running on Sunday. I also had to forget about the swim on Monday evening and the once-a-month flip-turn training on Tuesday morning. I even had to miss daily doggy walks.

And now I could also clearly forget about my plan for Bikram yoga on Tuesday evening.

It has been only four weeks since I stubbed the middle toe of my right foot so hard against the metal leg of my wind trainer that I went to the hospital to rule out a fracture with an X-ray; earlier that day I had successfully tried running 30-second stretches after a four-month complete layoff.

The last thing I needed were a pair of scraped and bruised knees, demanding another interruption of training and more patience. Grateful that at least the fall hadn't seemed to cause anything worse, that my jeans were the only thing torn when my left shoe got stuck under a root in the trail, I wondered about the meaning, the purpose of these ongoing interruptions to my training.

Am I being tested? And if so, why and for what? Or are these just random events that happen to occur in a relatively short space of time to the same person? Is it a reminder to live more in the moment, do I need to pay more attention, am I trying too hard to do too many things? Or is it just an unfortunate accident, something that simply happened?

After the past eight months of dealing with an injury that has been slow to heal -- and I still don't know for sure that it has -- I notice my tolerance for additional pain and misfortune is low. The aggravation by yet another little mishap that keeps me from the training routine I have only recently found again may seem out of proportion but I have been walking on athletic eggshells for a long time.

I just want to train. I am not even asking to run right now, though I was thrilled to run four 2-minute stretches last Wednesday; swimming, cycling and practicing yoga have made me a very content athlete over the past three months. I love being active. I need to be active.

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward," read a quote by Vernon Law I found in an article in my inbox this morning.

The lesson, for now, is to get up again, brush myself off and keep moving. Be grateful. My knees feel much better this morning; I have hurt them worse in previous face plants which, come to think of it, hadn't happened in nearly two years.

My flu is almost gone, but I'll skip tonight's swim training to be safe. I should be OK for a doggy walk later today, though I might avoid Seven Stitches for now. The sun is shining.

Qualifying for the Worlds -- Swimming

Yesterday I did the first swim meet of my life. It was not a big deal, and yet it was, as with everything you do for the first time.

There is a clear advantage to being a novice at something -- if you are willing to accept and embrace it.

"Eighty percent of success is showing up," as Woody Allen said.

That indeed was the measure for me. The biggest obstacle to yesterday's indoor swimming competition was finding the courage to try it, challenging the idea I have of myself as someone who cannot swim fast, that I am not -- never -- going to get any better, and that I wouldn't enjoy competing in the sport.

As a runner, I always encourage novices to try a race -- it's not about speed, it's about having the guts to prepare and start, it's about trying something new to challenge yourself. The results are invariably amazing (see The Casual Ultramarathoner and Never too Late to Discover You're a Runner).

We all possess potential that lies far beyond our expectations. That's where a fresh challenge can help us get unstuck as it reminds us that we are capable of more than we think as long as we are willing to try and take that first step. 

Getting to the swim meet was a matter of overcoming my reluctance -- mental resistance -- to showing up, fuelled by negative scenarios. Mental resistance can take many forms; I am most familiar with fear, procrastination, and being hard on myself.

"Resistance is not a peripheral opponent. Resistance arises from within. It is self-generated and self-perpetuated. Resistance is the enemy within," writes Steven Pressfield in The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles.

All of us battle resistance every single day. Awareness helps to overcome it.

In the superb Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, Cheryl Strayed writes about the solo 1,100-mile hike from California to Washington state she undertook at the age of 26 after losing her mother to cancer sparked a deep personal crisis. Strayed had no previous overnight hiking experience.

On her first day on the trail, starting from the Mojave Desert, Strayed descibes her attitude toward the potential natural dangers including rattlesnakes, mountain lions and "wilderness-savvy serial killers".

"... I wasn't thinking of them. It was a deal I'd made with myself months before and the only thing that allowed me to hike alone. I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.

"Insisting on this story was a form of mind control, but for the most part, it worked. Every time I heard a sound of unknown origin or felt something horrible cohering in my imagination, I pushed it away. I simply did not let myself become afraid. Fear begets fear. Power begets power. I willed myself to beget power. And it wasn't long before I actually wasn't afraid. I was working too hard to be afraid."

Challenging our preconceptions about ourself -- our ability, our talent, our potential -- is necessary for growth. Doing so often inspires anxiety as our mind races through all the things that could go wrong, the ways we could fail, fall short of expectations -- our own or those of others.

I could not help but feel a wave of regret wash over me as we -- Coach Roseline and teammates Simon, Andrew, Tim and I -- arrived at the Vancouver Aquatic Centre where 119 people had registered to compete in this cross-shaped 50-metre pool; though 25-metre lanes were used for this meet.

Why did I make myself do this? A swimming competition? I am not a swimmer, certainly not a fast swimmer.

After we found a spot on the pool deck to park ourselves and our gear for the day, we began a warmup at 10am among the myriad of other competitors. Aside from getting your body ready to race, it is also helpful to navigate a pool you don't know, experienced teammate Simon said.

Indeed, the water was a touch cooler than I am used to, while the sides of the pool were very different to those at Brennan Park. I couldn't help but feel nervous between the organized chaos of swimmers warming up, even as I had ordered myself to stay calm. It was just a first swim meet after all, not a big race I had trained months for.
 
Like many of the swimmers, I took a couple of turns on the only start block (also different to the Squamish pool) where we were allowed to practice -- both times my goggles flew down my face as soon as I hit the water.

Why did I make myself do this?

The first heat in the first event, the 400 free, was scheduled to begin at 10:30am right after the warmup and I was in it -- the swimmers with the slowest time estimates go first. 

Coach Roseline double-capped me to secure the goggles, as she had done in training earlier in the week; add one cap, then add goggles, add another cap over top low enough so it sits over the top rim of the goggles. She assured me they wouldn't budge.

I got ready to line up behind lane 6. An issue with the timing system delayed the start for about 15 minutes during which my goggles were so firmly pressed onto my eyes that I could barely stand it, but I didn't want to risk moving them from their failsafe position.

Then it was time for my debut as an indoor competitive swimmer. As you wait behind your lane, the timers check your name. Then there are two signals, one indicating you can step onto the block, and the next sigalling the "Take your mark" command will soon follow, upon which you stay completely until the Beep start signal, then you go.

As soon as I hit the water surface with my goggles still firmly in place, I relaxed instantly. I was in the water; all I had to do was swim 400 metres, sixteen 25s, though I count them as eight 50s. I felt good, smooth. I focused on breathing out under water, an easy thing to forget, and keeping track of the number of laps so I could pace the effort. 

I wanted to beat the 7:32 I had swum in training 5-1/2 weeks ago, and I was very happy to swim 6:56.

Getting that first heat out of the way made all the difference; my dive was fine, the goggles stayed in place, and it was simply a matter of swimming back and forth. And I had just improved my 400 time by 36 seconds.

Coach Roseline was taking our 50m splits at each event, so we could see how we paced ourselves, how it compared with previous times, and our goals. Her enthusiasm at the meet, like in training, was infectious and encouraging. She loves the sport and she loves helping others love to swim, and swim faster.

A five-page program listed each heat with the names and times of competitors in every event so you knew when and in which lane to swim. It was fun and inspiring to watch the others, especially of course the other three Titans.

A swim meet is very different to the running races and triathlons I am used to -- there you have one start, and one finish. Here you race, hang out, eat, drink, time and watch others, race again, and repeat. There is no fixed start time for each event, and each heat -- just a fixed sequence, so must pay attention.

Next up was the 100 free. My 1:45 estimate had seeded me in the second heat, in lane 7. Now I was more relaxed though it is important to stay focused. In the heat before me, a guy lost his balance in between "Take your mark" and the start signal and was disqualified. He shrugged his shoulders, not a big deal but a shame to miss out on an event.

Two 50s, or four 25s, means going as fast as you can, though I have learned that at this stage my stroke is better if I don't try so hard. Again, my dive went smooth, as did my swim and I was thrilled with 1:27.

In the 200 later that afternoon, I swam 3:12 compared with my estimate for 3:45.

And in the 800, I swam 14:24, instead of my 17:00 estimate.

It was a great experience; by showing up I gained a much better handle on my swim times and fitness and found fresh concrete goals to aim for. Coach Roseline has been trying to get the Titans squad excited about the FINA World Masters Championships, held in Montreal next year. Aside from a 1K open-water event that anyone can enter, swimmers need to meet age group standards. Superb benchmarks.

So, not only did I survive my first swim meet, I enjoyed it and am already planning to take part in the next one, the MSABC Provincials in April, where I hope to secure at least one worlds standard. I need a 36 50m, 1:20 100m, 3:00 200m. 6:15 400m, 13:20 800m or a 45:50 50m breaststroke.

The one that speaks most to my imagination is the Sub-3 200m of course :-), as it has been a magical target that has been on my mind for a few years now, just not in minutes and in a different sport. 

I have to be grateful for the injury that has sidelined me as a runner for eight months, and counting, as it has forced me to challenge a few key beliefs I had about myself. I love to run, I am a runner. But I don't want to be trapped by my inability to run and the conviction that no other form of exercise can replace it.

My key goal is still to return to running, so that I can resume my quest for the Sub-3 marathon. But in the meantime I am discovering and aiming for new targets to challenge myself, physically and mentally. Goals that force me to overcome mental resistance, in whatever form it may arise.

The swim meet helped me challenge the notion that I am not a swimmer.

I was a beginner runner once -- a woman who started jogging such short distances at such a slow speed that it would take a few years before I thought of myself as a runner. And it would take a few more years before I discovered an ability to run "fast".

Fast is relative, and that is a good thing. I have no plans to compete in Montreal in 2014. But you never know. It is all about finding inspiring goals to motivate your training, and to keep challenging the preconceived ideas you have about yourself.

And if you encounter resistance, embrace it, even follow it, Pressfield recommends: "The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it."